Dear Sissy . . .

I was just looking through old picture archives, and I found "Our Thanksgiving"! Look at your long hair!

Remember how that afternoon we got the sudden and undeniable urge to make my hair all "flippy" and we laughed so hard at the result? Hmmmm . . . maybe hairstyling and wine really aren't the best combination. But just check out the pictures, my hair has got some BODY.

I can't stop smiling remembering how much fun we had that day - and check out our awesome pies! We can seriously bake, sistah! And style hair!

Face it, we're awesome.

It was my all time favorite Thanksgiving.

I love you so much!

Love,

Jen

Murder At The Hawk's Nest

Lest you think Joel, Joshua, and Emma had all the adventure to themselves this weekend - I'll tell you what was happening back at The Nest. Saturday afternoon, I was changing the boys' sheets when some movement in the window well caught my eye. I looked over to see two little brown mice that had obviously fallen down there and couldn't get back out. One of them ran to and fro, trying to find a way up the aluminum sides of the well, and the other crouched in the corner. Maybe he was hurt, or perhaps just pessimistic. I think he was a clairvoyant.

I called Hannah and Eli away from their lunch, and we spent some time watching them. Eli suggested we open the window and pet them. He kept signing that they were "cute" and "stuck" that we needed to help them. Yes, he was right on all three counts. But his mother is creeped out by mice. I know, I'm weak.

I assured him that when Daddy came home, we would work together and get the mice out. I may be creeped out by them, but I'm not about to let them starve in the window well. We observed them several times during the day, and I have to admit they were so much cuter than your average field mice. When Joel returned from the mountains, I let him get settled and rest a bit before introducing him to our little friends. Once he was ready for a shower, I told him there was something we needed to take care of first, and skipped into the boys' room to show him.

I stopped dead in my tracks, because there was a new lodger inside Hotel Window Well. There was a snake there, with one of my little friends halfway down his gullet!! I'm not ashamed to say that I burst into tears, and cried a good hard cry. Then I remembered that the murder victim wasn't the only little guy in there with our reptilian Hannibal Lecter, and I jumped up to see where he'd gotten to. There he was, clinging to the top of the window screen for dear life. I burst into tears again, while my husband stood there wondering whether he should comfort me or have me committed.

"Joel, please, please, please, you have to get him out of there now!"

You see, the original plan of my helping him get the mice out was gone now, because the only things that creep me out worse than mice are snakes.

Well, bless him! Despite his incredibly long day, he put on his knight in shining armor suit, grabbed an empty trash can, and rescued our little survivor. The kids and I cheered and hugged each other, it was quite a scene. And that leaves us with only one problem - Hannibal.

Everyone had a different idea of what should be done about Hannibal.

• Eli and I sentenced him to the death penalty - decapitation via garden shovel. You see, we hadn't forgotten our departed friend, and his furry cuteness burned a firey vengeance in our hearts as we observed his cute little twitching feet dangling from Hannibal's mouth.


• Josh and Hannah thought the whole grisly thing was extremely cool, and wondered whether we could just keep Hannibal as a pet.


• Through her tears of grief over his victim, Emma begged mercy for Hannibal. She reasoned that after all, he's just a snake. And I quote, "That's just how snakes are, they have to eat too."

Emma won, mostly because she was right.

As I type this, Hannibal has been rescued from the window well by my very own hero, and is on his way to freedom in a nearby field. The kids have all gone to watch and bid him a fond farewell. Happy trails Hannibal, I hope we never meet again.

Here he is, in our window well. He's sort of hard to see, he's against the aliminum. If you look closely, you can see a big lump in his middle, where my sweet little cute friend is now being slowly digested:

Joel just came home from his rescue and release mission. He said that as Hannibal slithered away, Eli told him that the snake had said: "Thanks, Goodbye!"

Mountain Dog???

I thought this picture deserved a separate post.

Quandry Peak - Fun at 14,265 Ft.!

Emma's goal this summer was to get to the summit of her first 14er. Joel took Joshua and Emma on Friday night, they had a fun night swimming in a hotel and set out super early Saturday morning to climb Mt. Quandry. Can I take a "Mommy Moment" here? I think that all my fellow Mommies will understand me. When I was drifting off to sleep on Friday night, I was thinking of all the wonderful pictures that Joel would bring home from their trip. I bolted fully awake and cringed when I thought of the way Emma's hair would probably look in them.
I wasn't wrong.
We've actually had friends (guy friends, no less) who have run into Joel out in public with the kids make comments about the . . . um . . . unusually disheveled state of my children.
Joel! Use the hairbrush Joel!
This was the message I tried to send, but alas, that only works for Obi-Wan Kenobi. Okay, Mommy moment over, thank you for indulging me.

Here they are, all puffy faced and sleepy, getting ready to start their hike: I have to interupt the flow of pictures for a story here, and all of my dog loving friends will understand. Sorry Trina, you can skip this part. Anyway, in the picture below I want you to meet Butterscotch. Did you ever see such a sweet, loyal face? Here she is, watching over her master while he catches a nap - on a cliff. I can't imagine anything less restful. I wonder if Butterscotch thinks that's as weird as I do? Nah, she looks like she thinks everything he does is just about right. Her owner is from Texas, and he told Joel he rescued her as a stray. And my favorite story of the day. Once on the summit, a fellow hiker asked Joel if he'd seen the mountain goats over on the south side of the summit. In order to get a glimpse, they had to traverse a ridge with drop offs on either side. He helped Josh across, and reached his hand out to Emma. Her response - no way, man. That's my girl. Joel worked all of his charm on her, to no avail. Suddenly, she saw a white speck a few feet away - and knew he had her. As soon as he pointed out these guys you'll see below, Emma was eager to cross the ridge. You can lure some kids with candy, some with toys. Emma can be lured with wildlife. It's like I've been cloned.

I think she would have sat and watched these mountain goats all day if she could.

See her face bursting with delight?!

Here they are at the very top!

Someone ran out of steam!

My little Mountain Man on his second 14er!

Time to head back down. The hike took a total of nine hours! The kids were so worn out, Joel said the trip down was pretty tough. But once they hit the car they were so jubliant that they made it! I'm so proud of you guys! You are amazing!!

Pictures First Day of School

Last Day of Summer Vacation

Tomorrow is the first day of school! I can't believe how quickly this summer has flown by!

Hannah, Joshua, and Emma start a new school called Chinook Trail Elementary. We chose this school in part because they teach Mandarin as a foreign language. I'm so excited about the school and their teachers. But perhaps the best part is that Hannah has several little girls in her class who were also adopted from China. I saw so many adoptive families at orientation, I think many of them were drawn there for the same reasons we were. This is so wonderful for Hannah, as she won't have to feel that she is set apart, or different from all of her peers. She was so cute when her new teacher asked her whether she was excited to start kindergarten. Hannah replied,

"Oh Man, I'm so excited I can't even think about anything else"!!

I love it, it's so classic Hannah.

I'm feeling pretty sad today, as this will be the first time in 9 years that I've not had a little hawk at home with me. I'm excited that Hannah is starting this new chapter in her life, but for me it's bittersweet. Her world is filling up, and that's a good thing. I know it will be good for me too. I'll have time to exercise, and clean, and do the grocery shopping - and I do plan on sneaking some time for myself too (Trina - we may actually speak in person one of these days, lol!) Oh, Eli doesn't go back until August 18th, so I'm sure he's going to be dejected with me tomorrow without his siblings to play with.

I'll post pictures of the big day tomorrow, and I'll leave you with these shots Daddy took on their "Adieu, Summer!" hike today! Josh and Eli are taking the funkiest pictures lately, it's driving me crazy! I don't know what is up with their frozen dead-behind-the-eyes picture faces! I promise, if they looked that way all the time, I'd seek professional help for them.

Love,

Jen

Mama Hawk Down

Ugh!

There is never a good time for something like this to happen, but why did it have to happen NOW??

Tuesday morning I tripped and went tumbling down the basement stairs. It hurt enough that I felt a trip to the ER was warranted. Thank goodness, I didn't break anything, but I did sprain my left knee, injured a tendon in my right foot and sprained my big toe on the right foot. As you can imagine, I've been laid up for the past few days, much to my aggravation. Why couldn't it have all been on the same leg?? This way, I could have just dragged that leg behind me and used the other for walking.

If this had happened just a few weeks ago, I might have been able to talk myself into enjoying my opportunity to drift on some pain meds and sit perfectly still for a few days. But school is fast approaching for my little hawks and there are alot of things that need to get done. I also hate having to ask Joel to take time off work to help me. And I've discovered that I hate daytime TV. I've watched more TV in the past two days then I have in about three years combined. Can you tell I'm feeling like a very frustrated, whiny little baby?

I'm hoping this will be my last day of having to be off my feet. This morning I'm able to put a slight amount of weight on my knee, and if I only walk on the heel of my right foot, it seems to work. Does anyone have experience with sprains of this nature? Some encouraging words about how rapidly you healed would be fantastic, lol!

Love,
A Very Disgruntled Jen

Gotcha Day Anniversary . . . Looking Back

This is the very first photo I ever saw of Hannah. It makes me giggle each time I see it, remembering how gorgeous I thought it was. I remember calling my Dad and waiting for him to check his email after getting her referral. When he got it, I breathlessly cried, "Dad, isn't she gorgeous?!!" He paused and very tactfully replied . . . "Well honey, I'm sure she will be".

LOL! I was so offended I couldn't even formulate a response. Poor Hannah! Mommy won't ever tell you that story. And neither will PopPop, if he knows what's good for him. But Dad, I can always count on you for an honest response, whether I like it or not, and I'm thankful for that, I really am! A few weeks later, we received some updated pictures of her. Her sad little eyes broke my heart, and I couldn't wait to see what a smile looked like on that sweet mouth!
This is Hannah at the orphanage, with her best friend, Maya. Maya now lives in Missouri with her precious forever family. After all these years, these photos still break my heart. Both girls seem to have this searching, plaintive look in those deep eyes of theirs. How fortunate am I, to have seen those same eyes begin to sparkle, and crinkle up in joyful laughter?
A road sign marking the exit to Liangping, where Hannah's orphanage was.
Sandy and I took a four day guided tour of Beijing before travelling to Chongqing to receive Hannah. I have some really fun memories of that trip, especially since it was my first experience in a foreign country! Here we are on the Great Wall, wasn't my hair China-licious? Jen, my China hair has your China hair beat, admit defeat! Here we are, on the bus to Civil Affairs to get our babies! You can tell who the expectant parents are (Frank and Jennie Nation, and myself) because we have the full facial borderline hysterical smiles. Sandy is in the back, and the three Nation teenagers make up the rest of the group. All of my Gotcha Day photos are courtesy of the pretty brunette by the window, Autumn Nation!
This is my absolute favorite Gotcha Day picture, mainly because of the story behind it. Remember that panic that I pushed aside in the hotel room earlier? Well, when they handed Hannah to me, and she began to scream in absolute terror, not to mention kicking, scratching, and biting me, it came back full force. The coffee and melon I choked down for breakfast collided in my stomach in a most unholy way. As I walked my screaming, violent daughter up and down the room, I said one prayer over and over again - "Please God, just don't let me throw up". Because, I really, really was going to. I felt like that would make a terrible impression on the Chinese officials as to my mothering abilities. Right around this time, Frank Nation walked discreetly into the path I'd been wearing in the tile floor. He winked at me and mouthed the words "It's okay. It's going to be okay." I don't think, to this day, he knows what a profound effect that simple encouragement had on me. It brought on a wave of relief and settled my outraged stomach right then and there. I immediately believed him, and knew that it really was going to be okay, and I was able to pour myself completely into comforting my daughter. A few minutes later, Autumn snapped this shot: This is a Chinese notary official and I, trying to get Hannah to consent to the adoption. She had to put her little finger in red ink, and press it onto the signature line on the form. She refused, and I don't really blame her. Who wants to rush into a commitment like that without thinking it over? The official was annoyed and told me that Hannah was "stubborn". Oh Yeah??

Well, she forgot "loud". Our first outing together - the Chongqing Zoo. I can't tell you how fussed I got by Chinese people over carrying Hannah in my sling. Everywhere we went, people fussed me because she was "too old" to be carried in this way. I even had one guy try to help me out by attempting to yank her out of it. Hannah and I freaked out. Thanks for the future therapy costs, random Chinese guy. Anyway, Hannah loved her sling. Each morning when I'd begin to put it on, she'd run over and dance around me, ready to be lifted in. It was a life saver at restaurant buffets, since it enabled me to fix and carry both of our plates.

Our traditional Red Couch Photo. We have several, but this is my favorite. I know Hannah looks pitiful, as she did every time I walked more than a few inches away from her. What cracks me up is little Abby Nation in the middle. This photo pretty much sums up her personality, which is huge. I love how the other baby is looking at her, as if she's pretty sure that Abby had a three martini lunch. But Abby doesn't care. She's wondering how come the other girls don't think the red couch is as hi-lar-i-ous as she does!
And to close off the post, this is my all time favorite picture of my Hannah. It captures perfectly the beautiful sweetness mixed with mischief that is Hannah Elise Liang Yi Hawkins!

Happy Hannah-versary!!

August 3, 2005

Three years have passed since this day, and yet just thinking about it, all of the feelings come rushing back as vividly as though it were here again. I remember being shocked at how soundly I'd slept the night before, and being even more shocked at how calm and serene I felt throughout the morning. The only sign that this day was "The Day" was the way I couldn't quite get my breakfast down. For so many months, in every quiet moment, I'd pictured myself on this day. I wondered how I would feel, actually seeing her for the first time. I'd studied her pictures relentlessly, even kissed them goodnight, and I loved her fiercely. But as the morning wore on into the afternoon when we would leave for Civil Affairs and receive our children, fear began winding it's cold fingers around my heart. What was I doing here, in this foreign place, ready to claim this tiny stranger as my own - my life never to be the same again?! Who did I think I was? I had two small children at home, one of them having his first day of school without his Mommy there to walk him into his classroom. And I was in China, scared to death, stepping into completely unknown territory. Suddenly I wished myself home, where I felt secure and confident in my abilities to handle what each day would bring.

Well, the bottom line was - I had to find a way to push through this sudden panic. I didn't have time for these fears, and they weren't going to hold any sway. I was here, and she was mine, and it was time to meet our guide in the hotel lobby and head off to get her!

And my life has never been the same.

• It's been harder, because I've been forced to dig deeper into myself than I ever imagined I could for the strength and wisdom to get through some days.



• It's been more satisfying, because I know that the changes she has brought into my life have made me a better person.



• It's been more emotional, because every victory is monumental, and every failure is heartbreaking.



• It's been absolutely breathtaking.

Hannah has grown my heart, she has grown my spirit, and she has taught me how to love without any sense of self. It's hard to look at her now, and remember the tiny, helpless, terrified little mite that she was on this day, three years ago.

I love you, my sweet little one. Thank you for all you have brought into my life, and everything you continue to bring. I pray that as the years go on, I will be as great a blessing to you, as you are to me.

I'm so glad that I am yours, and you are mine.

Love,

Your Mama