Happy Birthday Eli!

Today is my sweet boy's tenth birthday! It's hard to grasp that one of my little hawks has moved up to the double digits! Even though the kids are out of school for Thanksgiving this week, we still had a crack of dawn birthday celebration. This way, Rinnie could see Eli open his presents before she left for work, and Joel was still fairly conscious having just gotten home from work. Eli was so excited to open his presents! He got some great Lego sets, his first video game of his very own, some comfy pajamas (you'd be surprised at how big on comfy jammers my two boys are), and a Halo action figure. With no hope of any 'good' toys being opened, Emma and Hannah were pretty sleepy, but Josh was just as anxious as Eli to get a peek at the birthday loot:

Isn't this a cute picture of my Mom?

She looks like she's daydreaming about seeing her husband David on Thursday:

They boys have been lost in Lego mania all day long, only stopping for a quick lunch and some buttermilk pie. I really took this picture just to remember what my living room floor looks like without Legos scattered all over it. It will be some time before I see it again:

Hannah was quite sleepy and a bit underwhelmed, so here she's taking a breather from all the festivities to wake up a bit more:

Emma-isms

Around our house, we call them Emma-isms.

Sometimes Emma-isms are hilarious because she meant them to be, and sometimes you have to leave the room in a rush to laugh in private. Emma is my passionate one. No matter what she is feeling, she is feeling it 110% and has the power to take you along for the ride. The blackest mood cannot withstand Emma's laugh, and the most steadfast of patient souls can't hold up for long under her fury. My point is that Emma's highs and lows generally produce some memorable moments, and yesterday after school we had another one.

I could see the storm clouds gathering before she even got in the car - something in her day had gone amiss, and I had better fix it quick before my entire evening ended up a casualty of war.

Me: "Hi Sweetie, how was your day?"
Emma: (furious scowl) "Not good."
Me: "Tell me about it, what happened?"
Emma: "I HATE MATH!"
Me: (secretly in agreement with her) "Oh No Em, you don't hate Math, you're so good at it!"
Emma: "I HATE MATH BECAUSE EVERY WEEK WE HAVE A TIMER TEST. ONE WEEK I GO FAST AND I MAKE ALOT OF MISTAKES AND THE TEACHER TELLS ME I HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL! THE NEXT WEEK I GO SLOW AND I GET RIGHT ANSWERS BUT THEN THE TEACHER TELLS ME I NEED TO GO FASTER AND GET MORE PROBLEMS DONE. THIS IS BECOMING A PATTERN!!! AND I HATE THIS PATTERN AND I KNOW IT'S JUST NEVER GONNA STOP!"

This was all yelled at me in a rush, I'm pretty sure she didn't breathe even once through it. I also think I chewed a good portion of my bottom lip off trying not to crack up when she said the part about the pattern.

My sage little Emma, it takes alot of wisdom to recognize when we've entered into an unhealthy pattern in our lives. She's already got the idea at the tender age of 7!

Once she had vented all of her rage over the injustice of Math Minutes, she was much better. The funny thing is, I totally remember being so frustrated at those timed tests - the panic that set in and wiped my brain completely clean of Math facts as soon as the timer began ticking.
Anyone else remember those things?

~ Jen

PS. For my sister - I chose this picture because I keep forgetting to mention the GAP hoodie to you when we talk. I so remember Camryn wearing it, and now Hannah is wearing it. I have to say - whatever you paid for that hoodie was a bargain! It's gotten through three active little girls' practically daily wear and still looks great! Long live the red GAP hoodie!!

Communication

Sometimes I miss big things in the rush of daily life. I focus on everything that I feel has yet to be accomplished with Eli's transition into our family, and I seldom stop to look back and realize how far we've come in just one year. Then all of the sudden something happens, and I see another hurdle we've jumped while I wasn't looking.

For example, communication. When Eli first joined our family, communication was Eli signing something to us and abruptly walking away before we could respond. It was completely one sided - he'd get his point across and be done. Slowly, and with alot of work and a WHOLE lot of frustration, communication became signing "at" one another. There wasn't really any give and take, no actual conversation.

I am not sure when exactly this changed, but today I realized that we were having an actual conversation! I couldn't keep the silly grin off my face for at least an hour afterward! Eli came home from school with a drawing of his family. There was a picture of each person next to their name - Rinnie, Baba, Emma, Hannah, Joshua. My picture didn't have my name beside it, and I pointed this out to Eli while pretending to be very offended.

Me: "Where is my name? You didn't write Mama!"
Eli: (searching carefully for the name he'd forgotten to write) "No, it's here . . ."
Me:(laughing) "Poor Mama, no name for me!"
Eli: (laughs and hugs me) "Sorry, Mama!"

I know this isn't exactly a deep conversation, but it's an honest to goodness, two people sharing ideas and interacting with each other conversation! Eli has gained so much language and is signing so well, it seems unreal that one year ago he had none.

This isn't by any means the first conversation we've had, it's just the first one where I've stopped and thought, "Hey! Look at that!!", so I just had to share.

What an amazing little boy, don't you think?
I think his Mommy needs to pay more attention to how far we've come, and less time worrying over how far we've yet to journey.

~ Jen

Bad Hair, Important Life Lessons, and Another Race!

I am so behind on my blogging, mainly because I haven't been taking very many pictures lately!

Here are the kids at the third race in the Fall Series. This coming Sunday, they will run the fourth and final race and we'll head out for our annual celebratory pizza party.
I have to add something pertaining to these races and how I'm learning more and more about the mysterious nature of boys. When we told Eli that the race was coming up, he was NOT excited. The last race was tough, and he just doesn't enjoy running the way that the other children do, which is fine! He said he didn't want to run the race because it was too hard. He said he only like running short distances, not long ones (like Gimli in Lord of the Rings, he is very dangerous over short distances). Joel explained that if he didn't run all four races in the series, he wouldn't receive a trophy like his brothers and sisters. Eli had been so excited about getting that trophy, but even this had no effect on him, so Joel and I told him he didn't have to run. That's when Josh teased that if he ran the race and Eli didn't, his muscles would be bigger. Eli wasn't having that! It's so funny to me that the boys have a great relationship, yet they are still so competitive with one another. I just don't get it - but Joel assures me it's a guy thing.

Now that you've had your picture fix, here's what we've been up to:

• I got a terrible haircut. I know that this isn't technically an "event", but I mean it's a really bad one. I've never had a haircut that actually made me feel self conscious before, but this one does. I should revise and say that the haircut itself isn't terrible, it just looks terrible on ME. Since high school, I've always wondered if I could pull off short hair. The answer is, sadly, no. I will not be posting any pictures of myself for at least a year, but at least I learned something, right?
• I had my very first blogtroversy. That's when people have words with each other via blogger. Wait, I have to revise again - technically I didn't have words with anyone, they had them with me. The whole thing was so odd, really! Like my terrible haircut, it wasn't a pleasant experience, but it was a learning experience.

In conclusion, I've learned two very important things this month:

1. I look awful with short hair. My advice - don't experiment with your hair just before the holidays. Wait until you can hide out if it goes badly.
2. Some people can get really ugly if they even suspect they are being disagreed with. My advice: When these people are talking you should just nod and smile. No matter what they are saying. If you are reading their blog and they can't actually see you nod and smile - skip the comment section and do it anyway just to get yourself into the habit. How do we know if we are dealing with one of these people? Best not to find out - just nod and smile.

On a more serious note (not that my hair problem isn't serious), Eli has been very "off" for the past few days. For the most part, we'd made alot of progress with some of his more negative adjustment behaviors like stealing, lying, and dissolving into fits of weeping when things didn't go his way. But last night he absolutely bawled because there were "short" noodles (penne pasta) in his spaghetti rather than "long" ones. This morning he bawled because he thought it was November 13th and I told him it was the 12th. Then out of the blue, he asked for his hearing aides, which we sent back in April because they weren't helping him and he hated wearing them. He literally hasn't even asked about them in seven months, but this morning he cried like the world had ended when I told him they were gone. I know something must be going on, but I have no idea what that might be.

In my reading before we adopted Eli, I came across something once where children abandoned at an older age sometimes begin to act out right around the anniversary of their abandonment. According to this theory, the changes in season and subsequent changes in weather can trigger the feelings of fear and grief they experienced. Eli was abandoned when he was six years old, on the 24th of November. It makes me wonder if the leaves falling and the chill in the air has possibly triggered those feelings in him, hence the return of the crying over every little thing? If this is the case, I'm not sure how to help him through it. Once again I find myself feeling as though I'm looking on helplessly while my son is hurting. I guess I all I can offer him is my love, and an extra big measure of grace - but I wish so badly that I could see what he sees, and feel what he feels.

I wish I could somehow take it all from him, but I know that only time can heal his wounds.

Not the most cheerful way to end my little update, but it did help me to type it all out - blogs are great that way!

Love,

Jen

Four Little Hawks Celebrate Halloween

Normally, we carve pumpkins and Trick or Treat just like everyone else on Halloween. But this year we decided to do things a little differently.

You know that saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention"? I didn't actually invent anything, but necessity was the catalyst for a little more creativity on my part this year. With finances extra tight, I just couldn't see spending a small fortune on Halloween costumes the kids would wear for an hour, pumpkins we'd throw away the next day, and a ton of candy to hand out to our neighbors. I consulted my Little Hawks - what would they think of having our very own Halloween party at home? They loved the idea! So it happened that for about 1/3 of the money we would usually spend, we had about 10 times the fun we usually have!

First, we decorated treat bags. I bought the kids' favorites to fill their bags - no yucky 'throw away' candy this year!While the kids painted and colored their treat bags, I baked my sister's famous sugar cookies. Seriously, these are the best cookies! Then the kids iced and decorated some sugary masterpieces:

Josh doing some quality control:

The girls discussing possible decorating strategies for their next cookies:
With the baked goods all finished, we all went down into the basement to start our "party". We had pizza, sliced up caramel apples, and way too many sweets! The kids decided to watch one of the Harry Potter movies in keeping with our Halloween theme. Two of the four were passed out cold by 9:30, and the other two were pretty near joining them. All of them thought it was the best Halloween we'd ever had, and I completely agree. No rushing through homework and dinner and stuffing the kids quickly into their costumes and out the door with Joel for trick or treating. We had so much fun being together! I took alot of cute pictures of the kids having their pizza picnic, but they all turned out too blurry to post (grrrrr . . . )!

This last picture might seem strange, but I had to add it to this post. While I was clearing all the baking and decorating mess from my kitchen counters and table, I really stood and looked at the table. Now, I usually hate our table. It's falling apart, it doesn't look very nice, it's impossible to keep clean, and it's falling apart.

But standing there looking at the remnants of cookie crumbs, icing, sprinkles, and tempera paint, I had to stop and say a prayer of thanks. I was struck by all of the memories that are held by this table. Memories of four little pairs of hands drawing, praying, eating, and growing. Memories of four little voices raised in laughter. I was awestruck at how very full my cup is. All of the little worries I carry day to day seem so insignificant when compared with the bounty that surrounds my beautiful, dilapidated kitchen table.

Happy Halloween From Rugby and Chili!

I have pictures of the kids to post later, but in the meantime I thought I'd fill you in on what our dogs did this Halloween:

Chili dressed up as a dog who is allowed to sit at the kitchen table. What a clever costume idea! Okay Chili, now GET DOWN!

Rugby dressed up as Pearson, my good friend Trina's baby. You can decide if you think he did a good job:

Now, while Rugby's costume was very convincing, I still don't think he looked nearly as cute as Pearson. Yes Pearson, you are still the cutest little puppy ever! Pearson, sweet love - don't go thinking Rugby is a copycat. Imitation is the purest form of flattery, you know.

Happy Halloween!