A friend of mine just emailed this to me, and it was so apropos of things I sometimes struggle with as a Mom, I thought I should post it to my blog.

Another reason I felt compelled to post this is the line from a movie my Mom and I watched this weekend. I won't name the actual movie, but it's based on a very popular HBO series about four single women who live in a certain city. At one point, one of the characters struggles to balance her job with her responsibilities as a parent. She made a comment about school holiday functions being invented by women without full time jobs who have nothing better to do with their time.
Ugh.
Here we go again - the cliche, many times kept alive by fellow women: women who stay at home to raise their children are somehow "less than" the Working Mother. Those of us at home with our children can all attest to the fact that our jobs are quite a bit more than "full time". We don't work 9 - 5, and we certainly don't get vacation days, sick days, or even weekends. So when I opened my email box this morning to find this, I thought it was important to give a shout out to my fellow Career Moms - because after all, I am working in my career field of choice, and I know you are, too!


Invisible Mother......
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . >> Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.
And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!

The New Adventures of Aquaman and Other Bits of News

Has it really been a week since I last posted? Things have been pretty busy, and I have a feeling I'm just getting a small taste of what life will be like as the kids get older!

First things first, my Mom arrived on Saturday! She and her husband, David, are moving to Colorado Springs and we are THRILLED! David stayed behind in Missouri where he is trying to sell his business and get everything there settled for the move. My Mom came ahead to look for a job and eventually find a place for them to live. It's so wonderful having her here, I can't even begin to explain. And the great news is that it looks like she may have already found a fantastic job! I am blessed with a Mom who is also one of my best friends, so getting to see her every day is wonderful. But the comfort of having a family member in the same town is more than I can say. In fact, I have already been able to reap the benefits when the kids' school called my cell phone right as I was walking into a doctor appointment. Emma was sick, and needed to be picked up. Now, under normal circumstances my only option would have been turning around and walking out before my appointment - which took me a month to get in the first place. Instead, I was able to call my mom and she rushed to the rescue!

Joshua has always loved to swim, but the opportunity to swim every day at my sister's house this summer revealed that he actually has a real knack for it. He expressed a desire to join a swim team, and started lessons last week. For the swim team he is trying to join, you must first pass six levels of skill courses before you make the team. The first night they tested the kids starting at Level One. Josh was able to test through to Level 3, and last night he tested out on to Level Four - after only two classes! He was so excited that he called me on the way home from class to tell me. I'm very happy that he's found something he loves to do, and that he also happens to be good at it. For me, the first part of that is definitely most important! This morning on the way to school, Joshua realized he'd forgotten one of his papers for his "extra math class".

"Your extra what?"

Josh explained that a few weeks ago, he took a test along with two of his classmates. The three of them were moved to an "extra" Math class. He said he wasn't sure exactly why, or what kind of class it was. I was stumped, since I'd heard nothing at all from his teacher about this. I wondered if he was having trouble in Math - it's always been one of his strengths and he does fine with his homework, so I couldn't imagine that being the case. As I pressed for more details, he remembered this one:

"Well, in my extra class there is a sign on the door that says "TAG - Talented and Gifted".

Oh.

Well, that's good to know! I sort of think that would have been a great thing to send a note home about, right? At any rate, I'm very proud of him - I'm just a little alarmed - how could Joel and I have anything genetically in common with someone who is good at Math?? I don't get it . . . some recessive gene, do you think?

The worst part was when Emma complained that none of her classroom doors proclaimed her to be Talented OR Gifted. I'm thinking of putting a sign on her bedroom door to that effect. Maybe I'll put one on my bathroom mirror, too.

Anyone else need one while I'm printing them out?

Tonight we are starting ASL Classes at Eli's school. I'm excited about this because I've been feeling a nagging anxiety about my signing as Eli gets closer and closer to catching up with me. My goal has always been to stay a few steps ahead of his vocabulary until the point in time when we are both fluent. They have different classes according to skill level, and they do classes for the kids as well.

I'm going to post some pictures of Josh at his swim classes, and his own personal, one girl cheer section. I'm also posting some pictures that I took for my sister of our reclaimed basement. We had a renter for a couple of years, and when she moved out we were so excited to have our space back.

So Sissy, I know it's taken me forever, but here is the boys' new room. And, because I'm a dork, there's one of my new treadmill too. Yay treadmill!

Love To All,

Jen

Happy Birthday PopPop!

Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

Thank you so very much for all of the love you show us! We love you so very much and hope you had a wonderful day! I wanted to talk to you before you left for work this morning, but I called too late I guess. I am so blessed to have you for a Dad, thank you for my sense of humor and my love of animals. Joel says thanks for my sense of humor, not so much the animal thing. Most of all, I'm so glad that my children have such a loving Grandpa to share their lives with, you truly make their lives richer. And I'm not just talking about your exorbitant monetary gifts on birthdays and Christmas.

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Jen

Why We Need Anger Management . . .

I just found this video made a few months ago, and have decided to enroll our entire family in anger management therapy. I had asked Eli what he looks like when he feels "mad". His response was so hilarious that I had to get the camera and ask him to do it again. As you'll see in the video, Emma followed up with an impression of what Mommy and Daddy look like when they're mad. I guess I must look pretty scary, but clearly that's nothing compared to my husband, the Incredible Hulk. As you can see, our children quake with fear at the very thought.

Reruns . . .

Well, I wasn't lucky enough to escape all of the bugs going around in our house - I caught the stomach variety - ugh.
In lieu of recent, new, and exciting pictures (I don't have any), here are some that I've never posted that are favorites of mine!



I love this picture of Hannah! I think the way her hands are curled around mine is so sweet - whenever I see this picture I can actually feel her little warm hands in mine, I don't know if that sounds weird, but that's how this picture makes me feel.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Emma, oh that SWEET little face of hers just melts me!This picture is the first time Joel ever saw Eli. I'd already fallen for this little man when I met him in China. I think that this picture is when Eli grabbed hold of Joel's heart, too. I wonder if he had any idea why they were taking his picture that day? He couldn't have had any inkling that it would be the catalyst that finally got us moving in the direction that we knew in our hearts we were supposed to go? I love this picture of Josh reading, so absorbed in his book that he didn't even notice me "Sneaking on Him" - that's Josh talk.

Week At A Glance . . .

No pictures this week - it really flew by in a blur of sick husbands, sick kids, and endless errands. You guys don't want to see pictures of that - especially the husband, trust me.
(Sorry Honey - search your heart, you know it's true.)

But for those of you who care enough about our daily grind to be curious, here is our week at a glance:

• Joel has been very, very sick. But naturally not sick enough to miss work! It's very hard to nurture someone who refuses to sit still. Enough said.
• Emma received her first love letter - well, her first one in the first grade. This little man has serious potential. He's no cookie-dough-type, run of the mill, 'I made you a paper heart' suitor. He remembered that Emma loves ocean life, and drew her a fantastic "Under The Sea-scape". This guy has got style and finesse - hope she doesn't let him get away. At the top of the page, he declared his feelings for her. I'm saving that one, to show their children someday.
• My Mom is moving back to Colorado Springs!! She will be here at the end of this month, and we are all so excited we can't stand it! ~~Yay Rinnie~~ !!!!!
• Sadly, Hannah had her first fever this weekend - at least her first one in the three years we've known her. She kept saying "Mama, I feel so bad inside my head". She was so pitiful, but she is feeling better today and the fever has broken.
• So far, the only ones who have not caught the bug are Emma and myself - let's pray that holds true!

~ Jen

Just Add Love . . .

I know most of you follow my sister's blog, too, so these pictures will be redundant for you. But I just had to post them, because your blog is supposed to be about what's on your mind and today my mind is on my niece, Kelly. It has been so neat for me to watch the miracle of adoption unfold from the "outside". When Hannah came home, people were always remarking to me how drastically her face had changed in such a short period of time. I saw her every day, so I couldn't see what they meant. But now, seeing pictures of Kelly the past few months, I understand. As she has relaxed, and began to let down her defenses and truly bond, this baby girl has positively bloomed!

Of course, I have a theory that Kelly's changes are more pronounced because she's been showered in the perfect and amazing love of my sister - who wouldn't be glowing?

Seriously though, I think that the changes in Kelly are such a testament to what can happen when someone is brave enough to take that huge leap of faith, reach out and love a child.

~ Jen