If I had my way . . .

This is how I would spend all of my time:

My Mom and I went to visit Lucy this past weekend - she gets to come home Friday!

Having never chosen a puppy this young before, I'm starting to feel nervous about my choice. We've had some fantastic luck with pups that were a bit shy at first, but we've also had one very bad experience.

See her tail tucked in the second photo from the top? Not good!
She seemed fine with her litter mates and the breeder's family, so I'm hoping she's just a bit slow to warm up and it will all work out.

Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments about our situation with Hannah. They really meant alot, and it is great to know that we are being covered in prayer. We are making progress, though it feels slow at times! This past week I've been working on holding her while she's having one of her "rages". When we were first introduced to this step, I wondered if that wasn't positively reinforcing really bad behavior. The first time I tried it, I realized how deep Hannah's wounds really are. She hated it. There isn't a strong enough word to describe how crazy she went, but I certainly dropped the idea that I was providing positive reinforcement real quick. The whole ordeal was very powerful, and at the end of two hours we shared some of the most tender, honest moments that we have ever had.

Another assignment we've been carrying out is scheduling Snuggle Time in twice a day. Snuggle time is when she spends some time listening to my heart and tapping out the beats with her fingers, then we wrap up by her maintaining eye contact with me for a period of 30 seconds. That doesn't sound like a long time, but it is extremely difficult for her. She can't hold eye contact for more than three seconds right now. I have a little word of advice for new adoptive parents - make sure that your little one is making actual eye contact with you! I really thought that Hannah was, which is another reason it took me so long to come to the conclusion that we were dealing with an attachment disorder. Now that we are spending purposeful time just looking at each other, I realize that she looks at my mouth, or some other part of my face rather than into my eyes. If I wasn't paying so much attention, it would be easy to miss.

I am seeing Hannah responding well to the new set of consequences we're employing. And a couple of times now, we've had some nice conversations. Before therapy, Hannah talked incessantly, but she never actually communicated the way a normal relational person would. I can't tell you how amazing it was when yesterday Hannah told me all about an interesting project her classmate had done. I'm making a point to celebrate every little tiny victory, it gives me strength for the next battle.

Speaking of strength, I wonder if I could make a specific prayer request? While I still feel great that we are on the right track and already making strides, I've been struggling with feeling overwhelmed and extremely run down. I've had a nasty cold, and I'm sure that isn't helping. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel discouraged before even getting up. I think it has to do with having to be "ON" every single second - measuring every word, expression, and action with Hannah throughout the day. So, if your praying and I happen to come to mind, would you pray for strength for me? Thank You!

~ Jen