You Know You're An Adoptive Mom When . . .

You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When . . .
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about adopted child's "real" parents.
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!)
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actually pronounce it!
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.

-Author unknown

I saw this today, and wanted to share it because it gives a glimpse into how unique the blessing of adoption really is. As a family with two adopted and two biological children, we tend to draw alot of attention in public. We've been asked some interesting questions, and I'm always willing to share our story - after all, it's a huge part of our testimony! There are times, however, when people use terminology that is less than sensitive. I really try not to be overly sensitive, because I think it's so hard for people to know they've said something hurtful unless they've been in your shoes. Or, more importantly, the shoes of an adopted child. The only time I've ever been bothered over a comment is when an insensitive comment is made within earshot of Hannah. Today, I was walking with my kids and Havila, when someone we know saw us and said in a very incredulous tone "You got ANOTHER one?" (referring to Havila).

Oy! Another one?

Is it just me, or does this appear to be a phrase you would apply to inanimate objects - like shoes - or skin tags? That actually doesn't bother me as much as the word "got", because I think back to how many times Hannah has heard people ask things like "how much did she cost?", and the time that another child asked me "Did you buy them?"

The tone of the question too - as if two were "quite enough of that adoption nonsense", and three is just pushing it way too far!

And so I decided to post this, not because I'm angry or venting - I'm really not upset at all. I thought that maybe someone would read it, and it might prove educational. I hope that it might help someone understand that many adopted children find themselves wondering if they really belong to their families. Words may seem like harmless things, but they can pierce the heart of a child, even when your intentions are completely innocent. Words like these can give the wrong answer to the question of belonging that lies in their hearts. I truly hope that one day, adoption will be so common that it won't so much as raise an inquisitive eyebrow!


~ Jen