Hearing Aids

Eli finally got his hearing aids on Thursday. He was so excited!

I left extra early for the appointment because we were experiencing some Colorado spring weather (ie blizzard conditions) and I wanted to make sure we arrived in time. Fortunately the roads were great, but that also meant we were very early and had to wait for over an hour at the ENT's office before they called us back. His enthusiasm quickly diminished and turned into the familiar "gonna getcha back for this" expression. When they did finally call us back and they put the hearing aids in, he sprang up out of his chair, ready to blow that joint. Nope, sorry dude - we've got to do all sorts of QC tests on you now. The two staff members became rapidly concerned that his hearing aids were not functioning, because Eli was staring at them blankly whenever they made a sound he should have been able to hear. "Oh dear", their faces said as they glanced anxiously at one another. I asked if I could have just a sec to better explain his instructions to him, and proceeded to tell Eli that he could cooperate with these nice ladies, or we could leave the hearing aids here at the office. The nice ladies turned twin disapproving glares on me, and one of them actually made a little sympathetic sound like "awwwww" at the way I was abusing my poor child. But, miracle of miracles . . . suddenly Eli could hear the sounds that they were making. They took him into the audiology booth and the results showed that the hearing aids are giving him quite a bit of sound, but are not taking his hearing to the level at which he can hear speech sounds clearly.

I just feel perplexed beyond anything - Eli has had at least six audio grams done, and every single one of them shows something different. On this one, he can't hear anything - he's as deaf as a person can possibly be - his ears are merely ornamental. On this one, he's mostly deaf, but can hear things as long as they are well above speech level. The audio grams with his hearing aids in have been the same deal: one test shows that hearing aids will only enable him to hear nuclear bomb if it's no more than three feet away, and on the next test, hearing aids have brought his hearing up to nearly normal levels. Since he's been wearing them at home, he's not responding to sounds any more often then he was without them. You can stand behind him and scream "Oh Lord Help Us! It's A Nuclear Bomb! We Are All Going To Die!" at the very tip top of your voice, and he won't so much as flinch. Five minutes later, he'll point out to me that his Lego's make a neat sound as they scrape across the table, or ask tell me he likes the sound of the water coming out of the faucet. He loves to play a game where I knock on his door and he answers it. All of these sounds are well below the frequency of me screaming at the top of my voice (trust me) - so, either Eli has taken selective hearing to a whole new level - or - well honestly I don't have another explanation for it. I'm going to make a few phone calls tomorrow and see if anyone has any ideas - I'm officially hornswabbled.

~ Jen